I have a very active and opinionated 13-month-old that is bossing me around daily. As a stay-at-home mom, my focus is, not only, to raise my child happy, healthy, and kind, but to expose him to and nurture his interests as well. This requires a lot of catering to him.

However, we are in the non-verbal stage of toddlerhood.

I want him fed and I want him to have fun, but half the time I’m guessing what he wants.

When the shrills come as he looks me dead in the eye, it’s hard not to feel defeated. When he tosses the home-cooked lunch to the dogs for the 2nd sometimes 3rd time in a row.. it’s hard to not feel victimized.

I say “Everything I do I do for you”.

My husband laughs because he knows my son doesn’t understand this. I look forward to the day when my son can tell me exactly how he is feeling – no matter how silly because currently the screams and food throwing is starting to feel personal.

So how do you get through this non-verbal stage of toddlerhood?

Here’s what is helping me get through the very opinionated non-verbal stage of toddlerhood.

Take a breath

Sometimes just taking a beat is the best thing. It’s easy, it’s quick and you can move on. One deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth before a reaction can change a lot.

When we are stressed our breathing becomes shallow and rapid. This causes many symptoms such as muscle tension, anxiety, heightened blood pressure and sweating. If we slow our breath and get more oxygen flowing through our bodies we can release tension and return to a state of calm.

Meditate

This is a big one for me. It seems very weird once you start, but I can tell a difference in days when I meditate and do not.

Start by setting a timer for 5 minutes. Once this becomes easy you can slowly increase each session until your reach 15 or 20 minutes. During your meditation session try to focus on nothing. It helps me to listen to the AC, or if I’m outside, the wind or airplanes.

Just try to relax and do not judge thoughts that come just brush them away. Over time it will become easier. Some days it will be difficult. I encourage this unguided meditation practice, but occasionally I enjoy guided meditation when I am more tired or having a harder time.

Go for a walk

Also, a top favorite that has had an impact on me for years – walking. When I need a break getting outdoors for some natural vitamin D and blood flow is the way to go! I’ve never regretted a walk.

Sometimes when my non-verbal little man has me under his control I’ll flip the switch by popping him into his stroller to come along with me. It becomes a nice little reset for us both.

Try not to make sense and move on

Just remember you are doing great! There will be times when no matter what you do for your child they will remain fussy. Attempting to make sense of their screams or drastic tastebud changes will only make you feel more frustrated.

Instead, just say “Well okay” and let it be.

Stay hydrated

On days when my mood has plummeted, I often notice my hydration was subpar. Stay ahead and keep hydrated. You be slow to anger and quick to pivot when the guessing game is going hard!

Try something new

Boredom is real. Switch it up. I know you’ll run out of ideas and when you do…

Get your toddler outside

If all else fails, go outside. So far, my toddler has not been upset about being outside. I imagine it does for him the same that it does for me when I go for a walk.

Encourage talking to get through the non-verbal stage of toddlerhood quicker

Narrate what you and your toddler are doing

This one may not help your sanity, but it will encourage their understanding and talking. I narrate most things; even when I’m guessing. I will ask questions and answer them for him. Eventually, he will learn to communicate these things on his own.

“You want strawberries?”

“Yes, you want strawberries.”

“Okay, Mommy is cutting more strawberries.”

Just because they can not verbally communicate does not mean they can not understand you – AND are not trying in their own way. You’ll be surprised how much young toddlers can actually understand if you pay attention.

Baby sign language

My son learned early “dog” and “milk”. He is now very keen on letting us know “all done”, but he grabs my hands and moves them together to create the “more” sign. This is about the extent of baby sign language we accomplished.

So I can not vouch for the success of BSL, but if you expand your sign language repertoire and stay consistent I can see the payoff.

Be Consistent

However, you chose to communicate; be consistent. Your child will catch on eventually and this can be a very frustrating time for them as well.

Motherhood, though beautiful, isn’t always easy. Trying to figure out what your child wants during the non-verbal stage of toddlerhood can be a more challenging time. There are things you can do to help encourage communication, but there are times when you just need to get through the moment.

Good Luck, Momma! You are doing great!

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